Sunday, December 9, 2007

John McEnroe Fears the Mafia Infiltrating Organized Tennis

Yahoo Sports News

Tennis star John McEnroe has recently stated that the Russian mafia could be infiltrating the world of organized tennis. He states that the subversion is "potentially pretty dark and scary".

This news makes me remember that scene from The Untouchables when Capone is talking about baseball. Let's see how it'll be reworked to fit this "dark and scary" model:

Capone: I've always loved tennis. But the thing I love about it most is that...
(Pulls out tennis racket)
Capone: Everyone works as a team!
(Starts beating the informant)
Capone: Why won't you die?!
Informant: It's just a ****ing tennis racket!

This is, of course, why the organized crime fellows will always stick to baseball.

How Much Political Power Do Bloggers Really Have?

Is there anything with less political power than a blogger. I'll try to list them:

8. Pigeons
7. Okra
6. Rhode Island
5. That one guy (you know who I'm talking about!)
4. Larry Craig, post-HUAI (Highly Unfortunate Airport Incident)
3. Migrant Workers
2. Dead People
1. Another stuff

To prove my point, let's analyze the facts (and once we're done with the boring part and removed all record of it from human society, let's analyze the anecdotal and fabricated evidence):

  • In January of 2005, Fortune Magazine made a list of 8 bloggers that business people "can't ignore". I'd never heard of any of them.
  • No U.S. president has had a blog.
  • Bloggers are usually stupid people (to prove me wrong, find just one blog that doesn't poke fun at the word "buckwheat")
  • DUH!
So tell me, do bloggers have any political power at all? Name one example that I can't rebuttalize and you win undying respect or a digital hamster (I refuse to explain more!).

Website Revamping

Hello, and after several months of neglect, I have come back to post on the blog!

One gaming review a day was simply too stressful, so instead, I'll be posting on a wide variety of topics in order to interest and delight the readers.

They say to write what you know, so many posts will regard "petting my horse" and "contemplating the term 'hassock'".

i.e., I'm not abusing the trust of the blog's regular readers (lol, it's been down for several months; "What regular readers?") by removing valuable content, but instead, I am "diversifying" and "re-diversifying".

It's like a gaming magazine with 25 editorials for every 1 article.

It's revolutionary!

(lol, Who am I kidding, it's still crap, but now it's "diversified crap")

--Ed. (That stands for editor!)

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Jelly Blocks

Name: Jelly Blocks
Genre: Puzzle
Difficulty Rating: Medium
Playing Time: 2-5 Minutes Per Round
Development Stage: Released
Cost: None
Summary: Maneuver your rectangles and covalently bond them. Not much else to it. Now I'm regretting wasting all my "cube puns" on earlier posts.
Final Rating: 3.5 Stars

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

360 Snake

Name: 360 Snake
Genre: Action
Difficulty Rating: Medium
Publisher: Eggshells
Playing Time: 5-20 Minutes
Development Stage: Released
Cost: None
Summary: Can you recall Snake? 2-D game where the pixelated snake moves on a rectangular grid in an attempt to eat pixelated apples without eating himself? Well, you're probably either too young to remember, or too old to care, but, take my word for it, such a game did indeed exist. Jacob Lee's "360 Snake" is quite similar to Snake, except, instead of making strictly 90 degree turns, you can move all over the place! Now your Snake's apple-hunting can go undisturbed by limited movement, and can instead go disturbed by something else, such as your total lack of gaming aptitude.
Final Rating: 3.5 Stars

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Ball Revamped 5

Name: Ball Revamped 5
Genre: Action
Difficulty Rating: Medium
Publisher: jmtb02 Studios, Tastylamp, Armor Games
Playing Time: 2-5 Minutes Per Round
Development Stage: Released
Cost: None
Summary: In the tradition of Ball, Ball Revamped, Ball Revamped 2, Ball Revamped 3, and Ball Revamped 4, jmtb02 Studios, Tastylamp, and Armor Games create the long awaited sequel in this thriller saga: Ball Revamped 5. In the "delightful game of strategy and action", you must move a ball through the portal, and not get killed by any number of wicked traps this game posesses. Are your balls quick enough, or will they be crushed and chopped?
Final Rating: 4.0 Stars

Monday, August 13, 2007

Just Letters

Name: Just Letters
Genre: Casual
Difficulty Rating: Easy
Playing Time: Unlimited
Development Stage: Released
Cost: None
Summary: Remember those magnets shaped like letters you used to put on your refrigerator? Remember all those obscene words you used to make with these letters? Remember how other people always seemed to steal your letters? Remember how all this happened in an online browser-based environment which attracts approximately 500,000 users monthly? No? Then maybe you should get out and live a little (and when you fail miserably at that, play "Just Letters", provided by
Final Rating: 4.0 Stars